6 pieces of office equipment (for the incredibly paranoid)

by:Gangyuan      2020-01-08
With massive layoffs, corrupt CEOs and disgruntled employees, the office has become a dangerous workplace.
At least that\'s what your paranoid mind tells you.
For those who imagine the office
Wide knife fight, or think the lunch room is the most likely ground to zero in the upcoming robot --
Rest assured that some entrepreneurs have stepped forward to fill this gap.
Turn your briefcase into a machine gun that can work. Fortunately, military weapons manufacturers Hector and Koch put \"hidden\" in \"Sacred things\" and you brought a concealed submachine gun to work? ! \" with .
No, it\'s not just a suitcase. -the gun .
Yes, the good guys at H & K have taken their 90 years of experience in the field of weapon design to a terrible level, incorporating the dangers of practicality and recklessness.
See how MP5 fits not only with this stylish leather briefcase made for this purpose, but also with a trigger embedded on the handle?
You don\'t even need to change the way you hold it, you can walk on the sidewalk and suddenly spray hot lead in every direction without distinction as your fingers twitch.
How wonderful/terrible is this?
Of course, know your colleagues.
With these workers, you \'d better invest. . .
The bullet plates we \'ve all been.
The busy working environment, unreasonable goals, and sa-mad bosses are all blocking casual Internet access and flirting with Catherine.
But just as the day is not going to get worse, accountant Phil starts screaming about some things about the angel of death and opens fire on all those present with a briefcase.
Just five days since you retired.
You are too old for this *** t.
It will be a good time to carry.
The sale of ThinkGeek, but this is not a joke.
Watch: This clipboard is made up of Class II bullet-proof clothing, which can stop 9mm rounds multiple times with a 25-year limited warranty.
After careful inspection, as long as the mad killer targets the 9x12 area directly, the design of this clipboard does not seem to have a major flaw, not the position where the finger is.
Unfortunately, boredom and humanity may be the biggest threat to those who buy this product, as the desire to test this product proves irresistible.
Although while holding the clipboard, it may not be difficult to find someone willing to fire on you, it may be more difficult to find someone who can fire some bullets on this clipboard.
So you \'d better invest too. . .
Wearing bullet-proof clothes at work has many shortcomings.
Because it\'s usually like this. . . . . .
It can be a lot of trouble and make it look like you don\'t trust.
How good would it be if it was possible to get the protection of Class III ceramic body armor and have the comfort and style of the classic three-button jacket?
Designer Miguel carvalero solved the problem.
These are not just trailblazers made of keflab.
These designs are made using Caballero\'s own design and patented technology, woven using polyester and nylon, and also anti-stab.
The only downside is that it makes you look a little bloated.
The design of carvalero combines the perfect harmony of style and paranoia.
Or, as he explained, \"What we\'re doing is a body armor.
\"Some of his clients include Colombian President Alvaro Uribe and Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, so rest assured that you will share the equivalent with some of the world\'s most despised
However, if your management style inspires hatred and revenge that is usually left to the Third World dictator, maybe you will want to start over on Friday.
But when it is possible for a colleague to glue through pants, why use these outfits only for protectionshitting fear?
As we all know, in carvalero\'s own office, the CEO keeps testing his products by randomly shooting employees38 revolver.
Think about it, next time you talk about having your money at the Lounge vending machine. 3Bullet-
When briefcase bullets begin to fly in the stale office air, the anti-partition wall sone believes that the head through the paranoid office drone must be the protection provided by his partition wall.
Of course, the slate gray compartment walls painted with cartoon patterns are very soothing, but can they stop the bullets?
Since they are basically fabrics stretched on foam rubber, you \'d better try to trick the shooter to surrender with your fake kung fu skills.
Fortunately, excellent people have fixed this serious oversight in compartment panel design with their bullet lines --
Cabinet Wall resistant.
At the low end, these panels provide protection against bullets fired from.
38 Special and. 22.
For those who are worried about being healthier
Equipped and talented attackers, a stronger panel can withstand 12 rounds of bullets
AK of the caliber shotgun-47 or a . 30 Carbine.
In other words, if Michael Bay makes a movie in your office, you may still be able to survive.
While the product looks good, the company\'s website is not so encouraging.
After a fairly technical polishing of their bulletproof wall products, the LC website lists what it calls \"interesting compartment ideas \". \" This out-of-
Humorous places, family collections include suggestions for compartments such as: 7)
Actually carry out the private secretary of all the work that cubicle residents should do. 8)
Whenever you think of something great, the special cubicle disco and music will open. 9)
Delay of 30 minutes to start the shift, special compartment clock ending 30 minutes in advance (maybe 45).
Then LC continues to complain that they don\'t have a high search engine ranking and it\'s not fair for them to not be more famous.
We are doing what we can.
2 Civil GPS tracking device quiz: suppose you work with a crazy gun lover who has just ended a painful divorce, what are the most likely violations you are facing at work today? A)
Martha of accounts receivable will steal your passion fruit Parfait yogurt from the lounge refrigerator; B)
Your boss will decide who to scale down with a vibrant music Chair game; C)
You will be stolen by the Japanese mafia.
Congratulate you if you say \"C\" and you have a very active imaginary life.
The free market once again provides us with solutions.
Allow the owner to keep someone else track of his or her location at any time via any Internet
Equipment that can be used anywhere in the world.
Or, if they are alone, they have a unique ability to survive to keep track of themselves.
Yes, this is the homing device used by \"Federal, state, and local law enforcement agencies\" and once opened, your location (
Or the position of the person you slide the equipment)
It will be broadcast over the Internet, presumably shown on a map with a small red dot on it, moving along the street.
The only problem we see is the pager.
The size of the device is almost impossible to hide on your people (
Or someone else).
They may become suspicious once they or the Colombian drug lord have discovered and clearly marked the \"BlackStar real-time GPS Tracker.
Of course, you can cover the logo with a masking tape, but you pay about $1,000 a year for this label, so you won\'t cover the label.
You won\'t stick the Lamborghini logo to your car, will you?
If your kidnappers are very lazy and unable to read, or don\'t have his heart in the whole kidnapping, maybe this device can provide some benefits.
Maybe the authorities will use it to track you in the masterful fortified compound, or more likely to find you dead in the trunk of the car, and you accidentally trap yourself while testing the equipment.
Really, if we\'re talking about monitoring, you \'d better go all the way. . .
1 hidden camera and hidden camera need to track your personal space?
Worried that tiny particles in the air may have little effect on your overall health?
It would be nice if paranoia and hypocrites could have a few drinks together and produce an evil offspring to meet these dual needs. Oh wait, !
Want to know who stole your paper clip?
You can walk over and take another box from the supply cabinet, like a fool.
Or you can take out $700 like the boss and grab that jerk in front of the camera.
With state-of-the-art monitoring technology, this cute action
The activated camera can always eliminate the fear of someone flipping through your cubicle or office.
But now you have to worry that there may be a hidden camera somewhere. Ah ha! But you have .
This space-age technology allows owners to discover hidden cameras in their work using lasers.
How does it work?
It works with the laser!
What else do you need to know?
Wait, but what if their camera is equipped with hidden camera detectors?
So that they can pre-emptively detect your probe and cover themselves up in some way?
Someone has to make a device to offset this.
Hurry up, someone!
Build it before it\'s too late!
This is our money!
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